We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
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I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Holy shit dude........stairs
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