last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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