Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
