never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
