$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
