I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize