Do you still have your period?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
