Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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