I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize