do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
