the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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