I hate all girls vehemently.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
only you would photoshop your dick
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
