my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
