McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
