He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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