how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
