you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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