The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
