I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize