he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
