Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
