I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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