I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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