The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
