so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
