Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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