no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
