there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
