All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
