Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
