Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
