He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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