she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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