if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
