yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
