I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I love having hate sex.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
