I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
