the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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