if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
