I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
