Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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