Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
