Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
