garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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