dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
