You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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