i jhust puked up my retainher.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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