We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
