I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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