who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
only if we run a train.
done.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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