I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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