Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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