McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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