So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
