Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize