i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
