if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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