PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
