Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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