Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize