Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
MIDGETS
????
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
