I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
