So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
