This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
