On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
