Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize