i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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