she woke up with a sticky ear
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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