At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
