Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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