check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
