All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
